September 7, 2022 marked 29 tears since my last relationship ended. This got me to thinking: "What effects do DXing (regardless of band) and Amateur (Ham) Radio have on relationships?"
The late Saint Louis DXer Terry Klasek stated that most DXers are loners. It's true that many DXers and a fair number of Hams are single. I'm one of those radio hobbyists (I'm both a DXer and a Ham) who is single. I have not been in a relationship since September of 1993. In my experience, it's been finding a Significant Other (in my case, a girlfriend or wife) who is completely tolerant of my engaging in the hobbies of DXing and Amateur Radio that's been the toughest. I would be very tolerant of her hobbies; that would enrich my personal experience. In addition to radio-related hobbies, I also partake in weather observation (which ties in with Amateur Radio, since I took training as a severe storm spotter) and photography as my hobbies, and have dabbled into astronomy and commercial aviation spotting (due in part to my shack being located three miles north of Saint Louis-Lambert International Airport).
What is it about DXing and Ham Radio that scares off potential dating (let alone marriage) partners? Is it that our ears are trained to cut through the static to hear the station we're trying to hear or work, and their ears aren't? Is it the off-kilter hours that we hold down to pursue this particular hobby? Is it the hours we spend in the shack chasing the DX? Is it the time some of us spend at local parks and conservation areas for the purpose of engaging in radio-related hobbies? Or is it something else? These questions have been on my mind over the years; it has been on my mind quite a bit in recent days.
My former fiancee (who shall remain nameless) couldn't stand my talking to fellow Hams on the local repeaters when I picked her up from her job as a dietary aide at a Spanish Lake, MO assisted care facility. Whenever I had my handheld transceiver (HT) in the car, I had to switch it off before she got in. She did tolerate one aspect of my hobby, though: DXing the AM (medium wave) broadcast band. Back in the 1990s, we could still get other teams' ball games on a 50,000-watt AM blowtorch. One of her favorite baseball players was catcher/outfielder Brian Downing, who was playing for the Texas Rangers back in 1993. At the time, the games were on WBAP 820 out of Fort Worth. I got my license eleven months before my last relationship ended.
Terry Klasek told the story of another long-gone Saint Louis DXer, Rich Eddie. He had been involved in the hobby since the late 1960s; he was very knowledgeable about the hobby. For a while, he was married to the former Norma Jean Osborn. Her fandom of country music was more important to her than Rich's DXing. I don't know if she had something to do with it, but Rich ended up trashing over 2,500 QSL cards and letters. Some of those belonged to Richard Pistek, a Chicago DXer who passed away in 1980. Rich and Norma Jean, if my memory serves, were separated at the time of Rich's passing in 1996 at age 48. Several years after Rich's death, Terry wrote a Musing that was published in the NASWA Journal, in which he said: "A POX ON NORMA JEAN EDDIE!"
There are so many more Significant Others who have learned to tolerate the other person's hobbies. For example, ne of my fellow DXers (who's a radio station promo item collector) is married to a woman who collects items associated with the comic strip Garfield. I've actually read Garfield in the newspaper; that cat has some pretty funny thoughts. If I ever get into another relationship again, the toughest part will be, in my honest opinion, teaching the woman I'm in that relationship with, to be tolerant of the fact that I'm both a DXer and a Ham.
I'm sure you have a lot of thoughts on this subject.
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